SOMEWHERE OVER THE BELTWAY 5

SOMEWHERE OVER THE BELTWAY
Ancient Tales from the Land of Nod 5
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away there lived a mighty king. His name was King Barry the First O’Bama (black Irish, don’t ya’ know) and he was the most powerful potentate in the wide world. Yet he was beset on all sides in the Land of Nod, for he was forever doomed to be stuck INSIDE THE BELTWAY.

You remember the last time we met King Barry, he had just concluded an “arrangement” with the 9 Dwarves whereby they would agree to support him in his quest to save the Land of Nod from the evils that beset it. With the Trolls and Ogres also along for the ride, the good king could next confront the dreaded Pixies and their magic gold Pixie dust. The Pixies were equal opportunity dusters, offering their favors and spreading the wealth to all willing to partake. All the Pixies asked in return was your soul. And since the Trolls and Ogres didn’t have souls and the 9 Dwarves weren’t using theirs anyway, it seemed a good deal for one and all.

The Pixies inhabited numerous and sundry Beltway “lobbies,” where they dispensed their nefarious dust. Trolls, Ogres, Orcs, Banshees, Fairies, Gremlins, Leprechauns and the assorted Klingon lined up en masse to partake in the never-ending orgy of dust dispensing. The Pixies dust came from their patrons, the Fat Cats, who had the wide world concession for gold dust and its bi-products, i.e. power, wealth, control, and 50 yard line seats at Ye Olde Redskins games. They also got to suck the souls from the Pixies, which is not only great alliteration, but could conceptually be a winner with the “Twilight” crowd.

The Fat Cats had always been THE major players in the Land of Nod, because, as the axiom goes: “remember the golden rule…those with the gold rule.” The Fat Cats were investment bankers, the Koch Brothers, the Ringling Brothers, the Warner Brothers, hedge fund managers, Illuminati, captains of industry, Rothschilds, dot comers, Warren Buffett, the pope, Dick Cheney, and the International Zionist conspiracy. For all practical purposes, they owned EVERYTHING… everything that wasn’t owned by Beatrice, anyway.

The Pixies were happy to do the Fat Cats bidding because they got a taste of all the Pixie dust they distributed. Naturally, the Trolls, Ogres, Orcs, Banshees, Fairies, Gremlins, Leprechauns and assorted Klingons were delighted to double dip at the public trough and were happy to give up their souls.

So how could good King Barry O’ get not only the Pixies, but the Fat Cats as well to play nice for the good of Nod? Find the one weakness that would turn them. But what? Simple...self-preservation. Without a Land of Nod, there’d be no Beltway, no dismal swamp, no reeking corner of the wide world where the Trolls, Ogres, Orcs, Banshees, Fairies, Gremlins, Leprechauns and the assorted Klingon plus the Pixies and the Fat Cats could all hang out in one glorious parasitic morass. They simply had no choice but to go along with the king.

Good King Barry O’ had overcome enormous challenges to get most of the stakeholders (is that what you’d call Buffy the Vampire Slayer? just curious) to back his move to save Nod. But perhaps his biggest obstacle was yet to come….the Banshees. Don’t fail to miss the next exciting episode of Ancient Tales from the Land of Nod in SOMEWHERE OVER THE BELTWAY.